I must confess to being a murderer.

I’ve killed my online presence several times, with yet another Twitter account going down after less than two weeks. Is it a tragedy or a relief? While I’m sure all nine of my followers will miss my one-word answers and book tweets I’m considering it a great relief. One of my tweets, late in the evening when I was feeling philosophical, posed the question; what do people find to tweet about so often?

This tweet was the product of a day spent searching for inspiration on what to write. People who are successful on social media and develop large followings tend to post regularly, often asking interactive questions to their followers. They have a bubbly online persona and invite interaction through their posts.

This is a skill I don’t have. I’ve lost count of how many Twitter accounts I’ve set up and then deleted within two weeks. I have no idea how people can post so much. As well as not knowing what to say I’ve encountered several issues with social media over my numerous, empty accounts. Here are three of the most common problems I had, leading to a final break up with social media.

#1 – Constantly comparing yourself to others

If you’re one of those people blessed with confidence and good self-esteem this aspect of social media might not bother you so much, though I’m sure it’s bothered you at some point. Whether it’s Twitter, Facebook, Instagram or another social media platform you’ll have undoubtedly seen the wonderful lives others lead and wondered why yours doesn’t look like that. Social media is not accurate. People build an online persona that shows a good image to the world but it’s not always accurate and it’s rarely the full picture.

While there’s nothing wrong with sharing the positive things going on in your life – nobody wants to share the bad – the issue is how it can make you feel. If you’re secure and confident in your own life you probably won’t mind seeing others enjoying theirs. Good for you.

However, if you’re not terribly happy with how your own life is going seeing others’ constant success can wear you down no matter how inaccurate the image is. Not comparing yourself to others is easy advice to give but harder to take. If you fall into the trap of constantly comparing and it’s getting you down it might be time to step back from social media.

#2 – High horses everywhere

Let’s face it, social media is the home of the high horse. People enjoy claiming the moral high ground and spouting their views, often backed up by thousands of faceless accounts. You’ve probably seen the accounts with several flags and hearts next to their name and bios that make it clear they’re a good person. There’s nothing wrong with these causes, by the way, I’m not saying that. What I take issue with is the tribalism. Some of these people undoubtedly believe in their viewpoint and have well-reasoned arguments for why they support it, but I suspect many don’t and they support it because it’s expected. It’s entirely possible that people who’ve grown up in different circumstances, in different countries, social conditions and home situations will have different views and reasons for believing those views. It’s one of the things I hate most about social media. Rather than have a proper debate or simply accept someone else has had a different experience of life than you, any disagreement with the current trendy view is treated as a crime.

I don’t like conflict and on my brief ventures into the world of social media, I steered clear of any sort of political debate. That doesn’t mean I didn’t see it though. Anyone who questioned the majority view was often subjected to vile abuse. Newsflash to the people on their high horses; you’re not going to convince anyone like that. Like it or not, everyone will have some reason for why they believe what they do. Sneering at them from on high won’t change their mind, if anything it will only entrench their view.

Whenever I start a new social media account I try and brace for the high horses, but it’s always one of the biggest reasons I leave. I just can’t stomach people being bullied for disagreeing. It’s like a modern-day stoning. Comply or die. Twitter is the worst platform I’ve seen for this, and it’s important to remember that what the majority of Twitter users believe doesn’t reflect the population as a whole. This article is from 2019 but has some interesting facts about Twitter users.

If you can avoid any polarizing topics or political debates (good luck) you might still enjoy social media. Express the ‘wrong’ view and you’ll be vilified. I don’t understand why people can’t debate respectfully, or why they can’t separate the opinion from the person, but social media can quickly turn into the Hunger Games. If you’re willing to enter that arena, may the odds be ever in your favour.  

#3 – Too many voices

If you’ve ever wondered why we can’t hear each other’s thoughts social media is the answer. Spend some time reading through the drivel people post and you’ll soon feel sorry for the next mind-reading character you come across. To my sadness, I took part in this drivel during my stints on social media. Or at least I tried to. Let’s face it; every post I made seemed so pointless I rarely posted anything at all. As an author, I braved social media in an attempt to increase my book’s exposure and boost sales, but it all seemed so spammy I felt cheap for doing it. A career in marketing isn’t for me, but social media does work for a lot of people to build a brand or increase exposure. If you can make it work, great. If not it might be time to close your social media accounts.

Whenever I have social media I find myself wasting time scrolling. Not engaging or adding my own voice, just scrolling. It’s a terrible habit and if you remove your social accounts from your phone you’ll soon realise how often you pick it up for pointless scrolling. Does anyone really need to know what Ken from Liverpool had for his tea? No, we don’t. No one needs to know. In my experience, social media is split into posters and scrollers. Look at your friends list and then look at how many people actually post regularly. You’ll find the majority of your feed is from the same few people oversharing every thought and the rest are scrollers who trawl through the rubbish every time they pick up their phone. No judgement, I’m a scroller too. It’s how I do most of my procrastinating.

If you’re fed up with the constant voices and opinions it might be time to cut the cord. Alternatively, remove your social accounts from your phone and then see how often you pick it up for scrolling – the results may shock you.

To conclude

Social media can be great. It can help you connect with others who share similar interests, keep up to date with friends and if you’re a creator it’s free advertising when done right. This is all good if you’re using social media.

If social media is using you the picture can be less pretty. What you post on social media can follow you for life even if it was something stupid from ten years ago (more about the cancellers in another post). Disagreeing with the mob can get you vilified and people are often nastier online than they’d dare to be in person. Seeing other people’s supposedly perfect lives can wear you down, and no amount of ‘it’s not a competition’ can stop you from thinking the grass is greener for them.

Whether you’re looking to delete your socials or you’re making the most of them I hope this post has given you something to think about. While I won’t be returning to Twitter or setting up another Instagram or Facebook page I have created a Pinterest account. Is that classed as social media? Maybe, but I consider it more of a mood board. You can find it here if you’re interested.

Update (10/02/23) – I broke. The sway of cheap promotion got to me and you can now find pages for Power Wielders Book Series on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. There’s no telling how long this attempt will last, but for now, you can follow the pages (exclusively for the Power Wielders book series and not for personal use) and keep up to date with the latest news. If you can spare a like or follow it is appreciated…